Successful-When do we say yes?
Success can you define it?
Last week I was invited to join a small group of ladies in co – authoring a book, which is focused on helping woman achieve success.
I was asked by the founders of the project, because they were looking for successful ladies to share their stories, and so help to inspire other women. As this is exactly what my business is about, and my plans for a similar style of book will not take off until later in the year, I was eager to learn more.
Just after that call, which outlined the project plan, a question popped into my head. I wonder if any of you can guess what that question was ? An exciting new book about achieving success, a group of successful woman writing it. What was the question?
I have suffered with the not good enough gene at different stages throughout my career. I have in the past been crippled from time to time with all consuming thoughts such as ‘ they are better than me’, ‘I am not good enough, or ‘I am not clever enough’.
Negative thoughts such as these, are not only time consuming, but also very energy draining. Sometimes there has been no stopping these thought processes.
The main reasons that I became a coach in the first place, once I knew that was the path I must follow ( my mission ), was that I recognised that these were my thoughts, and only my thoughts. I wanted to help other people to recognise, that so often, it was nothing more than their own thoughts that were making them feel inferior.
Not feeling good enough is what 90% of my personal release coach clients present at our first meeting. This is not specific to females either. From personal experience I have found that men experience the same self doubts.
Having studied human behaviour techniques for almost a decade, plus many other forms of therapy and coaching, all of which have been designed to help people to break through their personal self doubts. It has been a revelation to me to find that, in business, it is not only the people on the lower rungs of the ladder that are plagued with self doubt, but that it affects everyone from new recruit to CEO.
Last year, over the course of the year, I studied, and trained a lot in America. Success was the key theme of my development over there, as I was graduating as a Transformational Trainer.
What I noticed was, that when people talked about success, and what they wanted to achieve, much of the focus was on a number.
Numbers I like!
I like to count the numbers of great friends I am lucky enough to have, and how many times I have connected with them recently. I like to celebrate the amount of time I have spent with my family recently. I like to appreciate the number of times I have got out and walked in the countryside, I like to count how often I have laughed, and felt great in a day. I like to count the number of steps I have taken towards achieving some of my business goals, and I like to count the number of hours sleep I have each night.
All of these numbers, each of these things, I can count and celebrate as measures of success.
The numbers that I was initially referring to, were of course, the ones with £ and $ signs in front of them.
Of course money can be a measure of success, but when the best things in life are free, what is its true worth?
In creating the LIPSTICK Principles, the success steps for women, I have worked hard to help women to understand, just what success really means to them. For most it is feeling good about themselves, having time to spend with people they love, and feeling happy.
The clearer we can be on what success means to us, then the more success we can create for ourselves.
Success is a measure that we create for ourselves, and then we measure ourselves against this thought.
From the outside we can look at other people and consider them to be successful, whether or not they consider themselves to be so. Many will look at you and consider that you are successful, whether or not you consider yourself to be. I
f your success was to be measured on how good you feel, having good things to look forward to, having great friends that love you, feeling fit and healthy, and learning new skills, what score would you get today?
Going back to the question I asked you at the start of this, I think by now you may have guessed that it was this – Am I a success? Do I feel I can put myself there, am I as successful as the other woman?
That little voice of self doubt can still appear for all of us!
Be sure when measuring your success, that you measure against your own idea of what success means to you, and not someone else’s. Success is not about what you have, it is about how you feel.
If you wake up each morning raring to go, feeling fantastic, and looking forward to the day ahead, then you have found SUCCESS. Congratulations !
The question now is your success, can you define it ?
LIPSTICK Principle No. 7 Celebrate.
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