Only compare to yourself..



This year my new fitness regime is incorporating pilates, it suits me I like it.

Kirsty my instructor is excellent, she can notice from the other side of the room if I’ve stopped breathing for a moment (not literally stopped breathing but held my breath) or I’m not engaging my core, or my shoulders aren’t relaxed.


To be honest, there really is quite a lot more to think about with pilates then I had ever realised.

A couple of weeks ago Kirsty was going on holiday and leaving us in the hands of a brand new instructor.

Kindly, Kirsty made the class complimentary, as it was the instructor’s first time.

The new instructor did well. As you would imagine she was nervous, and got a little muddled but she did her best, the class was not the same as when Kirsty takes it but it was ok.

Kirsty asked me afterwards if I would give feedback.

Here is how I put it.

I gave the instructor a 9 out of 10 with an explanation of why.

If I had been measuring the new instructor against Kirsty then the score would have been perhaps a 2 out of 10.

But I didn’t measure against Kirsty who has years of experience as a pilates and fitness instructor, I measured the new instructor for where she was a brand new instructor.

There is absolutely no chance, no possibility that the new instructor could have been at Kirsty’s standard that day. NO POSSIBILITY.

Kirsty’s delivery is the new instructors inspiration, but should never be the comparison.

It could take a few years for her to get to the stage where she flows easily with the structure of the class, and how to explain every slight adjustment and breath required.

But, you have to start somewhere, and wherever you are, you are doing your best for where you are right now.

We all start somewhere, and it is only that point you can compare yourself to, and work out how to improve from.

When I first started speaking I remember being riddled with nerves and scared I’d forget what I wanted to say. I was very focused on the subject and probably not very good. But it gave me a base to improve from.

If my talks today where the same as they where then, I might deserve a 2 out of 10, as I should have grown and improved, but then I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

Sometimes you really do not know, what you don’t know yet, it only comes as you get a bit better each time.

Interestingly I chatted with Kirsty at length about what she does in the class that the new instructor didn’t do.

Guess what, Kirsty was not even aware of some of the subtle things she does, because now they are second nature, she teaches intuitively.

Does she still want to be better? Yes, we all do , we all want to continue to improve.

In another year I want to be twice the speaker I am now, and I will be, because I’ll measure myself against where I am today, to make me better tomorrow.

We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to other people, and whilst it’s good to have others as role model others, it is a futile waste of time.

We can’t be where others are because as yet we haven’t done what they have done, and when we have done what they have done in terms of hours of practice and gaining experience, we will be where we are, and they will likely have moved on further.

Compare yourself only to where you are now, and make gradual improvements everyday to master whatever skill it is you want to be brilliant at.

But don’t beat yourself up about where you are, you are where you are and that is the only place you can be right now, that is perfect.

Tomorrow you will be somewhere different.

I’m awarding everyone who reads this a 9 out of 10 for being exactly where you are right now.

Why 9? Because wherever we are there is always going to be room for improvement.

If this was not the case, why would gold medal winning athletes continue to train, why would musicians practice for hours?

Make the right comparisons, and give yourself some credit for where you are today. It’s highly likely that someone somewhere wishes they where exactly where you are right now, and you are their inspiration.

p.s  I took a pilates class with the new instructor again at the weekend and I could already see improvements.

She really wants to be great, and she will be, right now she is great for where she can be and the main thing is she’s doing it.

About the Author:

Amanda has been training, and researching in human potential techniques for over a decade. Now a transformational trainer, international speaker and co – author of best selling book Success University for Women.

Amanda is the creator of The LIPSTICK Principles™ and founder of The Leading Ladies Company.

Her work focuses on three key themes Confidence, Clarity and Connection. She is passionate about supporting women to realise their ambitions.


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